Odd...

Have y'all ever seen a person whose center of gravity is just a leetle off? There was this man in line behind me at Starbucks this morning, who I thought was going to for sure fall forward and take me out in the process...but it turns out that he just stands like that....on the balls of his feet and tipped slightly forward. Man, if I stood like that and I were drunk, I would just fall all the time...oh wait, I already do...yeah. It wasn't *that* interesting...it was just...odd...

Hands off my mug...

okay...i had been warned about this, but I had no idea it would happen to me. today i went into the kitchen to get a jello pudding out of the fridge, and there it was. my "drama queen" mug that malek picked out and purchased for me as a gift so that i would have my own mug at work. now i had been told that some people used other people's mugs. but you know, i thought that meant they'd use a mug that could possibly be considered a "free-for-all" mug...you know, from westlaw or some court reporting service. but not my mug. my jumbo-sized mug with a cartoony drawing of a woman's face and a crown...that would be absurd. everybody would recognize the mug as being mine because everybody was already talking about it...but no. some asshole used my mug. so i retrieved it from the sink, washed it in detergent with scalding water, and will no longer store it in the kitchen with the other mugs, but rather store it in my desk. for safe keeping. along with my "drama queen" glass which some of the secretaries "borrowed" from a nearby pub. how nice of them to think of me...

The art is up, and Vox is happy

Yesterday, the poster shop redeemed itself by sending over a person with my three custom-framed posters strapped to his body. My coworkers helped hang them up...okay my coworker Hahvard hung them up, and I and a few other office mates mocked him for 1) always having to do things the hard way and 2) never knowing when something was straight or crooked. I mean he wasn't even close. Then upon examining the color scheme in my 2 Kandinskys and my Rothko, I realized that my opera post cards which I had so carefully framed with cheapo frames at Walgreens looked all wrong and washed out in comparison to the brightness that was the remaining artwork. The solution? More postcards of course! This time I went with Wolf Kahn postcards from his series of barns. Yes, some of them are repeats from a Wolf Kahn calendar I hung up in my apartment...but I know what I like, and I like Wolf. It sort of ties it all together, you know? And now that my secretary has given up her firm plant to me, my office looks so much less depressing. I can foresee myself spending many hours here on the weekends, but not wanting to kill myself for want of visual stimulation...instead I'll want to kill myself because of the work I'm being asked to do. And isn't that as it should be?

My chili

i had been doing so well with the not-drinking for the month of february. march saw the reintroduction of alcohol at a moderate pace. and then came this week. three nights in a row. drunk. what is wrong with this picture? i'm no longer in college. i can't sustain this party lifestyle. i have no tolerance....though as malek pointed out, this is training for when jezebel comes to visit. otherwise i might get left behind on some bar bathroom floor, which is never pretty. and speaking of pretty, it was fun to go out with malek and roomie last night, where the twins apparently garnered much male attention. as roomie said, "a whole bunch of guys were checkin' out your chili." that may have to be my newly adopted saying. who needs humps? or lovely lady lumps? (yes, i know fergie was singing 'bout her ass, but they could apply to higher placed bumps as well). the male attention, sad to say, was much needed. takes the edge off of the coworker flirtation because other people, who are not dating but who may be sketchy and skeevy are interested. they can look, but they can't touch. i can't believe we have to go to work tomorrow. i can't believe i'm at work now. waiting, waiting, waiting for the painting delivery guy to show up...which of course he won't. i hate him. i don't even know him, and i hate him. bring me my custom framed posters so that i won't die in this institution alone with blank walls...

I'm a grownup...when did that happen?

So this week, I partook of what I can only call "The Insurance Debacle." Turns out the HR person finally figured out that I had never turned in any of my forms for any kind of insurance (I've been working here since January folks), and thus made it her mission to chase me down and sit on me until I completed them. I decided, because I'm cheap, to select an HMO for my health insurance. And when you pick an HMO, you have to pick your GP...so I was given this booklet with names of doctors, the medical group in which they participate and the hospital with which they are affliated. Hosptials that I have never ever heard of. So I panicked. And switched to the PPO plan where I can pick doctors who work at hospitals I've heard of in an area of town where I will not be afraid to go. Relief ensued. Then came life insurance. The very fact that my life is worth some kind of monetary figure, I find laughable. But since I am a future guardian, I decided to name my nephew as my beneficiary (this is heady stuff people)...I can't wait until the other brother finds out that his kid will get bupkis. Oh shit, if he finds out, that will most likely mean I'm dead. Scratch that. I can wait...

However, I'd like to point out that I am not so grown up as to not go out drinking with the office mates with little-to-nothing in my tummy and eating nothing but peanuts and alcohol for dinner. And I'm not grown up enought to recognize that 1) walking home alone was kind of stupid and 2) working out drunk was probably not the best plan...BUT, the way I know that I'm kind of a grown up is that I got to the office at 8:20 AM, before any of my drunken co-workers...and I'm not hungover.